Never before have I felt cold like this.

As you read this, remember: I moved to Minnesota LAST June.

At noon today it was -3 degrees. This is a first for me. Here's a list of amazingness just from this morning.

1. My hair froze within 2 seconds of going outside.

2. My nose hairs froze within 2 seconds.

3. L. said, "don't go to a car wash on a day like today." I said, "why not?" L. said, "because your locks and doors will freeze shut." I freaked out, of course.

4. When I said, "I've never felt this kind of cold before!" L. said, "I've been in -70 degrees." I said, shocked beyond belief, "WHERE!?" I was of course thinking she'd taken a trip to Antarctica I'd never heard about. "Here, in 1997," she said. To top it off, she was on crutches that day. So much for me whining about frozen hair.

5. I hear that if you boil water, and then throw it up in the air, that it will freeze before it hits the ground. If we actually do it, I'll post a video.

6. You can't clean your windshield until it's warm. Windshield wiper blades move the fluid around and then it freezes in a thin sheet. Then you are driving, and you can't see, and you crash. And the ambulance arrives and they ask you what happened and all you can say is, "California, California."