Me talking about sex was bound to happen eventually on this blog. And here it is for the first time.
On Monday the temp was about 5 degrees during the middle of the day. It was slightly breezy and the windchill felt like -5 to me. Probably wasn't though. I decided to be strong and tough and bad and walk to my destination, about 2-3 miles away, and finally get a little exercise and sunshine. I got a little lost on my way to one of L.'s sister's house and called L.'s other sister to get directions out of Como Park. Soon enough, I was on my way again.
It was really cold yet I was fine until I got lost. When I got lost, I had to slow momentum and look around and communicate the cross-streets to my navigation guide on my cellphone (meaning my hands were no longer in my pockets, heart rate was decreasing, and my sweat was cooling rapidly). The walk was a great idea but I realized I'm much more laid back about getting lost on foot when it's agreeable outside. I still think in Californian sometimes. (More on that in an upcoming post about leaving the back door open.)
We've all seen used condoms on the ground. Goodness, aren't they curious? I always wonder how they got there. Don't you? Did they actually fall out of garbage bags? Unlikely, really. More likely they never got thrown away. Because I'm more fascinated with gross than grossed out by gross, I really tend to wonder what each rogue condom's story is.
After I figured out where I was going, I started booking it. (Thanks again to those Yaktrax!) Right after I hung up the phone, I almost walked on a used condom. Used condom caught in new Yaktrax - not something you want to deal with when you're cold and lost.
Okay. This is no big deal anywhere else. But this is a big deal here!
1. It was not covered in snow, ice or dirt. Sure, it was frozen (a first sight for me). But it had not endured snow/icefall anytime recently.
2. It was on the sidewalk in a neighborhood. Not an industrial zone or a dark alley, where you'd be more likely to put two and two together.
3. If someone actually really truly used it outside... well, wait, that is not even possible!
4. If someone used it inside of a car, then threw it out - I suppose that's the most likely option. Do you keep your car running for that? Wouldn't the whole encounter reek of exhaust in that case?
So, I wonder out loud, to the universe, to the latex angels, to anyone who might turn a trick in a cold town, to anyone anywhere using condoms in the winter anywhere close to a door where it might fall into the outside world: how? Really, how?
(It's notable that all of my posts thus far have the "ice" label.)
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4 comments:
This blog made me lonesome for our "Goldmember" days. Seriously, who would be having a quickie in the ice? Although, once I got off a bus in SF on one of the first cold days of the year...scarf wrapped around amy neck and tucked into my big jacket. Behind me a man got off the bus in shorts (!) and a t-shirt. He looked at me and shook his head and said, "You Californians. The first sign of cold and you are bundled up like it's snow. You don't even know cold!" :)
Laurie visited SF in December once, rented a convertable, and drove it to Napa with the top down.
I hear you.
After October, I used to brace myself every time I went out the door after. These days, I seem to have found acceptance and just *feel* it without dreading it. Good progress.
I miss Goldmember, too. I wonder where he ended up.
It is all relative. Maybe they were Canadians.
So, just to reiterate what my friend Amy said when I told her about this story..."Maybe they have a popsicle fetish". I'm going to add that one to the basket during a sex positivity workshop. "You are now a group of folks with popsicle fetishes. You looooove popsicles. Can you tell the rest of the audience what you love about popsicles?" Some might say "we don't see THOSE clients here" but maybe we just aren't asking the right questions, you know?
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