crazy signs of spring

It's only 40-something out there and you'd think we'd gone mad. I know I have - mad with ecstasy. Check out what I've seen lately.

1. A suburban just drove by with a golden retriever hanging out of the front window.
2. Two kids were riding their bikes in tank tops.
3. The gutters are gushing with snow melt, and the sound of it is pure music to my ears.
4. I'm happy. Really.
   
5. The teenagers in the neighborhood are running amok in the night again. I love that about our neighborhood: white, privileged, well-fed, giggling gangs. It would be even more wonderful if they happened to be un-privileged and not white and still well-fed and giggling, but I take what I can get.
   
6. I didn't wear long underwear today for the first time since November. Really.
7. The thermostat has been set to 60 or below all day and the inside temperature hasn't fallen below 63.
   
8. And best of all, the snow people are emaciated. Click on this image to see details and have a a good laugh at these little teeny super guys:

I would like to kiss the weatherperson

Current temp and forecast:
I haven't been this genuinely happy in months. 6 months, to be precise.

what goes down might come up

Good thing about mood swings - if I'm down, I probably won't stay down.

Man, last week was hard. I definitely had a hint of the "want to slash my wrists and bleed all over the snow" through Saturday night. But Sunday changed everything.

Sunday: high was 37 degrees! Hardly any wind! Only partly cloudy, which means some sun! Sunday is my designated day off, so I didn't do anything related work or school or tax-filing.

Get this: 37 degrees and nothing to do. We walked 5 miles round trip to the conservatory where we soaked up GREEN VIBRANT LIFE, multiple blooming ORCHIDS, and tropical HUMIDITY. It was an excessively happy rendezvous.

It made me think, "I need to go outside and run. Often. Even when it's very cold. Even when it's snowing." The outdoor exercise alone restored my inherent sense of self, the active me I've optimized since I could ambulate. It was a delicious reminder. For me, the gym hasn't been cutting it. So, I either need to submit to the mindlessness of being a hamster, or buck up and become one of those people who forms icicles on my face from running outside.

On the way home, we walked through the fairgrounds and discovered some tree trunk sculptures. I thought this was one really odd -- it's good, but due to the size limitations of a tree trunk, the sculptor could only complete the first fourth of the horse. It's so wonderful and strange!

Only in Minnesota!

variations of snow

My favorite part of winter is the actual falling of snow. The descent is just so beautiful.

Snow truly does come in many forms. Since it has been snow season, I have noticed an incredible variety in the size, texture, feel, look, and sound of snow. I'll attempt to list from memory some of my observations over the last few months. And I'll use *'s as my bullet points (get it? snowflakes? haha!)

* Tonight we have snow falling that looks like shredded clear plastic confetti. In the air, it looks crinkly and clear and stiff. On the ground, it looks like billions of tiny diamonds.
* The other day we had blowing snow. The wind was, what?, 25 mph? More? I don't remember. But it was blowing. And the snow was forming smooth mounds and crevices and reminded me of sand dunes. Really stunning.
* A week ago, for the first time in my life, I saw tiny individual perfectly formed snow flakes. Just like the cut-out kind we made in third grade. Each one - really! - was unique. Each one - really! - was an intricate, delicate, and unimaginably complex crystal, exact and precise as could be.
* We've had cotton ball snow, when hundreds of those perfect flakes huddle together in clumps and fall down in huge, heavy puffs of goo. They're quite endearing as they plummet to the earth with a helplessness and inevitability. Splat! They hit the ground and go flat.
* Snow storms are terrifying to me. We've only had one or two, I think. But the snow falls so fast and piles up so big, I worry that I'll wake up and the door will be blocked and I'll have to push a shovel in front of me to walk anywhere. That hasn't happened yet. But snow storms are intense. You can't see very far in front of you.
* When it gets really cold - below zero - the snow on the ground squeaks. It makes me cringe a little. Tires and shoes squeak. I always know when it's getting warmer by the lack of sound the snow makes from day to day.
* Pellets of white ice. I hate those fuckers. They sting. They're not big enough to be hail balls (which I grew up with, and I don't want them again) but they slam into you and everything around you with a sharp force that makes you want to hide in bed all day.

What other kinds of snow am I missing here?

I'm sorry, but I see no hints of spring at -10 degrees

This from MNspeak.com:

"Maybe it's just a more relaxed attitude about work lately, but today I left the office with just a trace of sun left in the sky, and noticed that the east Lake Street Dairy Queen is open. The forecasts see no hints of a thaw any time soon, but meteorology be damned, are there any other signs that winter is about to start its inevitable retreat?"

I did not leave the house all day yesterday because the temp ranged from 4 to -10. It is not close to spring yet, not in the least. This is insane, convoluted thinking! That crazy Minnesotan!

Many people assure me that once the mercury hits 50 degrees, people will go outside in flip-flops, shorts, and t-shirts. There will still be snow on the ground and the trees will still be barren. People call that spring here. I'm sorry, I am in the minority, but that's just crazy.

One of my to-do tasks this week is to buy a plane ticket to San Francisco for sometime in the next 3-4 weeks.

It's Sunday and sunny and so we went to San Diego

Since Thursday, I've been incredibly emotionally fragile. As a future mental health practitioner, I see self-awareness of my swings as productive and also terrifying.

L. succinctly summarized what could be going on.

1. I'm taking a medication for six months because I was exposed to TB. One side effect is depression.
2. It's my first February in Minnesota. One side effect is depression.
3. I'm learning how to be a grief/crisis counselor. One side effect - unless you know what the hell you're doing and have vast experience - is depression.

One of the bedrooms gets flooded with sun between 9:30 am and 2:30 pm. If it's sunny out, which it hasn't been in days - until this morning! After breakfast we crawled into the bed in that bedroom, lowered the blinds as much as possible without peep-showing the neighborhood, and raised a yellow blanket up in front of our faces to reflect the sun on us.

It's about -10 degrees outside; wind chill is between -25 and -40. (I still haven't left the house today and don't have a clue as to what that feels like, yet.)

But before we lifted the blanket up, L. said, "you wanna go to San Diego?" I said, "YES!" And then she lifted the blanket up, smiled, closed her eyes and said, "I'm on the beach! In San Diego!"

It was the best part of my morning, hands down.

Texas looks goooooooood.

Growing up in Texas was a nightmare, and I like to believe it hated me as much as I hated it. Once I graduated at 17, I moved away and never set foot on Texan soil again. I changed planes in the DFW airport once and felt creepy until the plane took off.

Take a look at these actual current temperatures. Today it's 84 in southern Texas! Yeehaw! Andale! Vamanos ya! Texas sure is lookin' good, ya'll.

I have no reason to go to Minnesota...

I'm able bodied, young, fit, stubborn and spry. Additionally, to help with the unfortunate physics of being inexperienced with all things winter, I have Yaktrax to help out with what I have not yet mastered. I will not sugar-coat my disdain of Minnesota winter weather, but if it weren't already clear by the tone of my previous posts, let it be known officially that I wrestle daily with the question, "Why the hell am I in Minnesota?"

Today it's gray and dreary outside. Actual temperature right now is -4.4 degrees, wind chill is -20 degrees and we've had forecasts of snow since last night. (I know: it's colder outstate. I know: all you locals have lived through -80 degrees. I know: some of you pay $500 heating bills every month. I know, I know, I don't care.)

Okay, here's what I'm trying to get to. Why in the world would you live here if you are elderly? Permanently in use of a wheelchair? Chronically ill? I'm doing just fine in the scope of health and agility, and I slip all the time on ice, tromp awkwardly through snow, whine into the wind, and bitterly bitch about sub-zero temperatures. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for anyone who's just not feeling so great.

I just walked home and crossed paths with a very old man who was so hunched over he could not comfortably look up to see where he was going. He carried a very large, heavy bag and wore tennis shoes. I'm so saddened that he has to get somewhere, and it's so uncomfortable and super slippery outside.

Long before I moved here and toward the end of the phase L. and I can only refer to simply and fondly as "friendship," I actually said to her, "I have no reason to go ever to Minnesota. Except to see you, I guess."

And now I live here. Indefinitely.

It sure is amazing what we put up with. The trade-off is unquestionably worth it - success, happiness, family, love, clarity, direction, purpose. I'm just not sure if the putting-up-with gets more arduous or more tolerable with time. By the time I'm old and frail and dependent on devices for mobility, I really wonder if I'll have grown to ignore or (gasp!) even enjoy November through March.

Angry punching squirrel carved out of snow

There are squirrels everywhere in the world, but I sure have noticed that there are a disproportionate amount living in the Twin Cities. (I've seen all black ones and all white ones here, which I've never seen anywhere else before). They roam the neighborhoods in packs, attacked our Halloween pumpkins like vultures on a carcass, and for all I know probably have their own political party in the state of Minnesota.

Today L. insisted we go to the snow carving area in the fairgrounds to see snow sculptures. All of a sudden today the temperature shot up to 40 degrees, so some of the sculptures were self destructing by noon. However, this angry punching squirrel hadn't melted a tad.

It seemed so freaking funny that someone would put so much time and energy into carving a squirrel out of a block of packed snow. The squirrel is angry, but the acorns surrounding its feet are smiling. It's such a confusing scene.

Now, back to that temperature rise. It was so wonderful! I wore a spring fleece and a scarf, no hat, and no gloves. Tomorrow we're forecast for snow and 12 degrees, but today I pretended I was in California again on the coldest week of the year.

It's so warm outside I can't believe it!

School started and my mind is on beginning so many new tasks and readings that I haven't felt in the mind frame for blogging. I will let you know, however, that it's so warm outside that I've been walking around outside with no hat! Yesterday I went for a run outside, rather than in a gym, and didn't wear gloves either!

It's been hovering around 25 degrees the last two days.

Perspective is truly EVERYTHING.

One of those backwards days

This morning around 7:30, it was 5 degrees. By 8:30, it was -1. Now at 10:40 it's -4.4. The sun is rising, it's bright and blue out there, the snow is glistening and crunchy. There's some sort of weather phenomenon I don't understand - that it gets colder on sunny days. This is a sweeping generalization, right? But I heard it as a warning when I moved here and today it's obviously true.

Anyone get it?

Further findings

Coincidentally, mnspeak.com profiled a story done by the Star Tribune about how hard it is for Minnesotans to brag about and brand themselves.

Links: Why don't we ever brag about Minnesota? and the original Star Tribune article.

I say coincidentally because it mentioned that it's difficult for non-natives to break into social circles in MN and I just wrote a blog post about my experience with such phenomena.

Otherwise, it's been above zero degrees and lightly snowing all day, so all is well and it's gorgeous outside.

Never before have I felt cold like this.

As you read this, remember: I moved to Minnesota LAST June.

At noon today it was -3 degrees. This is a first for me. Here's a list of amazingness just from this morning.

1. My hair froze within 2 seconds of going outside.

2. My nose hairs froze within 2 seconds.

3. L. said, "don't go to a car wash on a day like today." I said, "why not?" L. said, "because your locks and doors will freeze shut." I freaked out, of course.

4. When I said, "I've never felt this kind of cold before!" L. said, "I've been in -70 degrees." I said, shocked beyond belief, "WHERE!?" I was of course thinking she'd taken a trip to Antarctica I'd never heard about. "Here, in 1997," she said. To top it off, she was on crutches that day. So much for me whining about frozen hair.

5. I hear that if you boil water, and then throw it up in the air, that it will freeze before it hits the ground. If we actually do it, I'll post a video.

6. You can't clean your windshield until it's warm. Windshield wiper blades move the fluid around and then it freezes in a thin sheet. Then you are driving, and you can't see, and you crash. And the ambulance arrives and they ask you what happened and all you can say is, "California, California."

This time, it's that crazy Californevadatexan!

This time, I was the crazy one in crazy Minnesota.

Short story to save myself from too much embarrassment: I didn't lock the back door. It blew open in the night. The kitchen froze. The basil plant and an orchid died from ice in its roots.

Poor basil.


The green thumb runs in my family and I usually can't kill a plant if I try. So, this is a major household loss, ya'll.

The pipes didn't freeze (which, I didn't even think about as a possibility, believe it or not) luckily.

I was thinking afterwards - after I'd re-heated the house by noon and partially gotten over my shame for being absentminded - about my porch in Oakland. The door was old and didn't shut well. Oftentimes it would blow open in the night. Even on the coldest of nights when it would get into the low 40s, it just didn't really matter. Because it was a balcony porch I didn't worry too much about being broken into.

Silly me, still thinking like a Californian.