hiatus

I actually defended Minnesota the other day.
I can't think of a thing to complain about.
It's spring.

So, I'm going to pause the blogging for awhile.

I'm grateful for all the catharsis it's allowed me these last few months. And I'm grateful to all of you out there listening and pitching in!

Until next time.

yeah, spring, mm hmm.

We're forecast for "Heart Attack Snow" tonight. WTF, Minnesota?

spring is shuddering and stammering

Yesterday I heard geese overhead and chickadees in trees.

This morning it's snowing.

Somehow I'm not exasperated and suicidal over this.

I just think, soon. Soon, grasshopper.

monumental moment in month 9

I actually got invited to my first party in Minnesota. THIS IS A BIG DEAL!

Remember, Minnesotans generally hang out with their best friends from high school and need 25 weeks of advance planning to make a date.

And it was a spontaneous "we're calling you today for a party tonight" invite.

My ego was spinning!

It was a fabulous party, too, with a manageable number of lively and lovely attendees. The gourmet dinner was thoughtfully planned and expertly executed and we grazed on grilled tomatoes, salmon quiche, beet bacon salad, and mushroom bruschetta for three hours. No one really knew anyone else, which made for a fair playing field for getting to know each other.

Upon leaving, L. said, "that's where all the coolest people are hanging out right now in Minneapolis!" And then she said, pensively, "I think perhaps no one there was actually Minnesotan." She's right. I can't think of a single person there who didn't move here.

OMG! My conclusions about having more success in finding non-Minnesotan friends and her conclusions about Minnesotans not being spontaneous might be right!

Roller Garden ruckus!

We went roller skating yesterday afternoon at Roller Garden! It was intensely exciting and exhilarating. In the back of my mind, I've really wanted to try out for the MN Roller Derby team, but it's been quite awhile since I skated and I wasn't sure how realistic my dreams were.

I learned a few things in relation to this dream.

1. Confidence is key. (It's how I win arm wrestling time and time again. You just convince yourself you can do it, grimace intensely, and then you can.)

So, the first few go-arounds I was a little tentative of wobbling or falling. But then I just gave it my all and went FAST. Around and around and around... and then:

2. Roller skating is a killer on shin muscles! I'd be going around really fast and then my shins would BURN like I'd strapped a tiki torch to them. L. attested to the same sensation, though I think mine was worse. I felt majorly un-tough. So we'd stop and watch the others, then go back for more, and repeat cycle again. And then:

3. I realized that turning the corners really tight is very hard to do. Roller girls really get in there and turn sharply with that left skate. I had to keep balance with the left skate while I steered around the curve with the right skate.

This is obviously a skill that comes with practice, but it seemed to defy all physics laws when I even thought about trying it. Hmm.

All this is to say:

1. I'm even more interested in trying out for roller derby.
2. I'm even more impressed with the athletic abilities of the roller girls. (Turning your head can make you lose your balance, and they skate while looking back all the time. Amazing!)
3. I need real skates with real support if I'm gonna keep trying this. Chuh ching! That's easily $100 for my next hobby!

Much fun was had by all.

p.s. to the locals: the next roller derby bout is this weekend with a Polka band as halftime entertainment. Don't miss it!!!

a giant in my dream

I dreamed that I was trekking around the Minnesota countryside (?) and came across a man in a giant costume who seemed to represent Minnesotan men. I tried hard to take a photo of him with my camera phone. But he wanted to charge me $50 for it.

I wanted the photo for this blog. In the dream.

Sorry, folks. I tried and came up empty handed.

crazy signs of spring

It's only 40-something out there and you'd think we'd gone mad. I know I have - mad with ecstasy. Check out what I've seen lately.

1. A suburban just drove by with a golden retriever hanging out of the front window.
2. Two kids were riding their bikes in tank tops.
3. The gutters are gushing with snow melt, and the sound of it is pure music to my ears.
4. I'm happy. Really.
   
5. The teenagers in the neighborhood are running amok in the night again. I love that about our neighborhood: white, privileged, well-fed, giggling gangs. It would be even more wonderful if they happened to be un-privileged and not white and still well-fed and giggling, but I take what I can get.
   
6. I didn't wear long underwear today for the first time since November. Really.
7. The thermostat has been set to 60 or below all day and the inside temperature hasn't fallen below 63.
   
8. And best of all, the snow people are emaciated. Click on this image to see details and have a a good laugh at these little teeny super guys:

That makes two

Someone out there on Minneapolis Metblogs has a very similar story to mine.

Sigh.

I am not alone.

I would like to kiss the weatherperson

Current temp and forecast:
I haven't been this genuinely happy in months. 6 months, to be precise.

CHANCE OF RAIN SOON!

47 degrees on Wed with a chance of rain! I couldn't be happier. I need my Wellies and some ice cream.

1:08 pm addendum: I hear that it's terribly naive of me to assume a weather report in Minnesota will actually be close to accurate. Piss on it all.

Pinch me.

On the continuum of how much regular human interaction people need, I'd always veered toward the end of "minimal." Imagine why I didn't much enjoy being a reporter. Newsrooms were nightmares.

I lived in Oakland for four years and commuted into San Francisco nearly every day. It's a wonderful place to live and lots of people think so, and it's much too crowded. I never felt alone, even when I was alone. You get crammed into carpools, buses, trains, sidewalks, tiny apartments, cubicles, restaurants. And after living in excessively overpopulated El Salvador, San Francisco was doable - but still consistently irritable - in the amount of energy drained out of me daily from just being around a whole lotta people.

My universe twin visited in the fall. He lives LA. I think he was a little unnerved by how unpopulated the Twin Cities felt to him. You just get so used to it, even though it really is hard on us introverts. And oddly enough, we get to missing the crowds. It's so weird to miss it.

I've been feeling something I'VE NEVER FELT BEFORE. I want to be around people. Crowds even. Until now, I've been very crowd averse. I want to talk and be chatty for more than 10 minutes. I figured it out today. Minnesota winters are long, grey, frigid, and make people hibernate as much as they humanly can outside of fulfilling their 40 hour a week obligations on the job.

I'm so ready for summer! Because it means green, warm AND because it means Minnesotans will become happy, social and agreeable again!

Reminds me of something I read or watched about New York City residents getting a fuller amount of human touch than other Americans because they bump into each other on the subway and sidewalk. That there's some kind of health benefit from that.

I've never looked forward to anything social and I can't wait to see people outside again. Pinch me.

WILD HARE RUMPUS

Bust me, Bonnie.

Me and the wife are going west and it sure ain't soon enough.

Just booked one way tickets to LA, a one way car rental to Seattle, and more one way tickets outta WA back home in mid-May. 11 days. Ocean all the way. Redwoods. Mountains. Goddamn right, mountains.

Holy mother, I cannot WAIT.

How'd I get so much smarter than all the Minnesotans?

I drove once in a snowstorm. It was the first of this winter season. It took me 2.5 hours to go 15 miles, I almost had a heart attack, I almost peed my pants, I almost crashed my car, and I threatened to leave Minnesota forever. Ever since, if I have to be somewhere during a snow storm, I walk or take the bus. That simple.

Really, it's just not worth driving. REALLY.

I'm not a bad winter driver anymore. I've figured out the physics of tires on ice and snow enough to get by. So it's not that I'm one of those CRAZY CALIFORNIA DRIVERS all you Minnesotans like to talk about. It's not worth it because it just takes for fucking ever.

And you'd think that all you Minnesotans would know that it's just not worth it.

Today I had a 9 am appointment. So, I left at 8:15 and walked there. I passed so much traffic - on foot! So many splattering sliding stalled cars. So many frustrated hurried drivers. It was just ridiculous. The person I met was 20 minutes late to the appointment; I was five minutes early. I calmly read a newspaper while waiting; she frantically rushed in after spending 2 hours in traffic. I'd had my exercise for the day; she - and all you other nuts out there who drove this morning - got your blood pressure skyrocketing.

I forgot my Yaktrax though, and I slipped a little. I didn't fall, luckily. I did see someone flat on their back on the way home, though, who'd slipped and couldn't get up. An ambulance appeared and took him away. It was sad.

Advice from a fair-weathered newbie: Slow down. Stay at home. Walk to work. Go in late. But, God knows, causing excessive and dangerous traffic jams is just plain ignorant. Crazy Minnesotans!

Nordic extreme dodge ball

The photographer caught the university Nordic Ski Club playing a new made-up game last Friday in the realm of dodge ball on cross country skiis.

It was a nice day, around 30 degrees out. By the time I showed up, they were packing up their skiis and doing that "loud voice laughing man sport" behavior. They were very amped up.

Such a funny sight.

Thanks to L. for the photo.